


The Text

by SPowell



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: First Meeting, Humor, M/M, text!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 02:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4083373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SPowell/pseuds/SPowell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin's got the wrong number.</p><p>Disclaimer: The characters herein are not mine. They belong to BBC, Shine, and legend.</p><p>Written for Tropes Bingo squares Mistaken Identity and blind date/set-up.</p><p>Revamped.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Text

**(020) 73xx xxxx:** Hey, it’s Merlin from the pub.

 **Gwaine:** Who???

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** You know, Merlin from last night. You gave me your number.

 **Gwaine:** Merlin who?

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** Merlin Emrys. Tall. Dark hair. Blue eyes.

 **Gwaine:** Did Morgana put you up to this?

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** Who the hell’s Morgana?

 **Gwaine:** My sister, dunder-head!

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** I’m confused. And really? Who says dunder-head?

 **Gwaine:** People with vocabularies, "Merlin."

 ** **(020) 73xx xxxx** :** Or out-dated thesauruses.

 **Gwaine:** Thesauri. Dunder-head.

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** Right.

 **Arthur: (MMS: (020) 73xx xxxx, The Bitch):** Morgana, did you put this person up to texting me?

 **Morgana:** WTF? Buzz off, little brother; I’m in the middle of a shag.

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** I was going to say something about “The Bitch,” but I kind of see why, now. And that’s the first time I’ve ever seen someone use a semi-colon in a text--although if she's related to you, it figures.

 **Gwaine:** If Morgana isn’t behind this, what gives?

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** I told u—I wuz at the pub last nite.

 **Gwaine:** Are you at the pub now, or are you suddenly too lazy to use English?

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** Man, you didn’t seem like such an arse last night.

 **Gwaine:** Look, I don’t know who this is, but I wasn’t at a pub last night. I worked until three AM.

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** Wow. Who works until 3 in the morning?

 **Gwaine:** Those of us with slave drivers for fathers. Now, who is this really?

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** I told you, Merlin Emrys.

 **Gwaine:** Sure, and my name’s Dumbledore. What’s your real name?

*******

**Dumbledore:** Hello?

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** I don't think the Harry Potter books have been out long enough for you to be named Dumbledore. Unless you're 17 or younger?

 **jailbait?:** OMG.

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** Okay, obviously you think you're funny. If this isn’t Gwaine from last night, who am I speaking to?

 **jailbait?:** Whom. And I am funny.

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** ?

 **jailbait?:** “To whom am I speaking” is the correct way to say it. Or were you born in a barn?

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** Omg, you’re such an arse. I was born in Ealdor.

 **jailbait?:** What's an Ealdor?

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** Nevermind.

 **jailbait?:** You didn’t tell me your real name.

 **(020) 73xx xxxx:** YES I DID YOU FUCK TWAT!

 **jailbait?:** Well, you don’t have to yell.

 **Merlin:** Who are you? Or is it WHOM are you?

 **jailbait?:** It’s who. I’m Arthur. Do you really have dark hair and blue eyes?

 **Merlin:** Yeah.

*******

**Merlin:** why?

 **Arthur:** Are you sure someone didn’t put you up to this? Leon? LEON IS THIS YOU?

 **Merlin:** Now who's yelling?

 **Arthur:** Lance?

 **Merlin:** NO! What’s your problem? Do you have trust issues or something?

*******

**Arthur:** Maybe. It just seems weird that you text me out of nowhere, saying you're my type, that’s all.

 **Merlin:** I’m your type? So, I take it ur gay… ‘cause Merlin is not a girl's name.

 **Arthur:** Merlin isn't a name at all.

 **Merlin:** OMG yes it is!

 **Arthur:** In old wizardy time, maybe. And I'm not officially gay.

 **Merlin:** wtf is that supposed to mean?

 **Arthur** : I’m gay to me, my sister, and most of my friends. Not to my father, his bitch of a wife, and most of the company.

 **Merlin:** And y is that?

 **Arthur:** My father would disown me if I came out.

 **Merlin:** R u sure about that?

 **Arthur:** Positive.

 **Merlin:** So, Arthur. What do you look like?

 **Arthur:** Blond. Incredibly fit. Blue eyes.

 **Merlin:** *cough*fuck twat*cough*

 **Arthur:** I’m telling the truth.

 **Merlin:** Prove it. And no dick pics.

 **Arthur:**   I wouldn't think of it. Ok--This isn’t very good, but it’s in my phone. 

 

 [](http://imgur.com/y7atq3u)

 **Merlin:** Hm. Not bad. A little stiff.

 **Arthur:** Not bad???! Stiff??? Now you.

 **Merlin:** lmao jk. Wait, I've gotta get my flatmate to take a pic.

  [](http://imgur.com/c0HEX7d)

*******

**Merlin:** Hello?

 **Arthur:** I’m here. You really are my type.

 **Merlin:** :) Do you have a boyfriend?

 **Arthur:** If I did, I doubt he’d appreciate me text-flirting with you.

 **Merlin:** So we’re flirting then?

 **Arthur:** By the looks of that picture, we are.

 **Merlin:** I might be flirting, but if that's what you've been doing, u have a really weird, insulting way of doing it.

 **Arthur:** You look like a wet dream.

 **Merlin:** that butter.

 **Merlin:** *that's better*

 **Arthur:** Meet me at Starbuck’s on Hampstead? 

 **Merlin:** 5 o’clock?

 **Arthur:** Perfect. I’ll be the fuck twat in the red shirt. ;-)

 **Merlin:** C u then.

***

 **The Bitch:** Okay, now, Arthur, what was so important?

 **Arthur:** Can't talk now. I have a date.

 **Morgana:** Gwaine, it worked. Now get over here and shag me for real.


End file.
